During a difficult period in my life, I used to joke with a friend about self-love, proclaiming aloud, “I love me” as I kissed my own hand. We would giggle then because it seemed silly. But loving yourself isn’t silly. When we truly love ourselves, we are more likely to make choices that are in alignment with our personal values. Still, sometimes self-love eludes us.
A lot of people talk about self-love and loving yourself first so you have the strength and wherewithal to love others. Many of us struggle with that. Some people don’t think they are worthy of love even from themselves or were socialised to put everyone else first or even choose to put everyone else first and fall into martyrdom. It’s also quite possible that you can feel secure and truly love yourself and then like other relationships you can fall out of love. It happens.
Even if you’ve found ‘success’ through your work at one time or another, have experienced loving relationships, or have had perfect health – sometimes things fall apart. It happens. It happened to me. Of course, many people don’t know what’s happening with people in general because that is not what we share on social media.
It doesn’t really matter why it happens when it does. What matters is finding a path back to yourself, to loving yourself again or maybe even really truly loving yourself for the first time.
Whether it was serendipity or synchronicity, I learned about a book by Kamal Ravikant, an author, entrepreneur and believer in transformation. I found him on the internet shortly after he published a short book with a powerful message, and at the time that I needed his message most.
The message is also the title of the book – Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It.
What makes this book different for me is that it isn’t wordy, what he has to say isn’t obtuse. His book is succinct, straight to the point and even includes practical guidance. Anyone can tell you to love yourself. Most people won’t tell you how to do that in a succinct and straightforward way but he does.
“The truth is to love yourself with the same intensity you would use to pull yourself up if you are hanging off a cliff with your fingers. As if your life depended upon it. Once you get going, it’s not hard to do. Just takes commitment…” – Kamal Ravikant
In a talk at A-Fest in 2013, he speaks about a time when things were falling apart in not only his business and financial life but his health as well.
“If I was depressed that was a good day….I was in a bad place and, I remember one morning woke up and I was like, I can’t do this anymore. I’m getting out of this or I’m dying trying.” – Kamal Ravikant, A-Fest 2013
This turning point was the time he made a commitment to love himself. He decided. He committed to it. He made a vow to love himself. Within a few weeks, everything changed. He shared his advice and story with friends and they, in turn, motivated him to write the book, he self-published.
I have read the book more than once and after the first time put into practice one of his exercises and it transformed me. And I still use one of his exercises when a random unwanted and illogical thought pops into my head – as they sometimes do. I’ve recommended it to several people and wanted to share it here too because it had a profound effect on my psyche.
He shares with the reader how he found his way back to himself through committing to loving himself and going all in on it and he shares his experiences of what worked and what didn’t.
So if you feel like you need help to get back on track or if you think you’ve never loved yourself, to begin with, start by taking a vow to love yourself. Decide. Make a commitment. Then consider the knowledge in this book as a compass that can gently guide you back on the path.
If you’re alive expect change – it’s inevitable. Before things fall apart I hope that you learn to love yourself. Then whatever circumstances are happening outside of you, you can always look within and know that you are love and are loved.
Have you read the book? Do you have another book and author that has transformed your life? Leave a comment. If you want to buy the book I’ve included a link below – it’s available on Kindle and in paperback. Personally, I like paperbacks for the most part so I can write in them or reread them.
I also speak about the book in vlog below:
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