Standing in one’s power, setting boundaries and taking personal responsibility isn’t always easy. I admit that for me sometimes standing in my power can be terrifying and even on a good day when I feel like I can conquer the world it can still be challenging. Boundaries too, are tricky since they are unique to individuals as well, based on their family dynamic, culture, gender, and upbringing. Personal responsibility on the other hand for me seems easier, I like the saying ‘no excuses.’ Whatever level of ease or difficulty on these particular topics anyone has as an individual, we all have to relate to and deal with other people on this planet. Some of our interactions are not always pleasant particularly those that involve – sexual harassment and sexism, topics that have been under discussion on the blog in the last 10 days or so.
It can be challenging at times when dealing with inappropriate behaviour from our colleagues, acquaintances and others, we must learn to not only set boundaries but learn what is considered a societal norm. So even though personal power, boundaries and personal responsibility are important across a broad range of topics, I wanted to share 3 videos today that inform since when we are informed on a topic it’s easier.
How can we stand in our own power when faced with a challenge? How do we set boundaries? What is the norm in personal space?
My immediate reaction is to simplify things and say things like –
Stand in your integrity.
Stand in your power.
Leave the room.
Don’t enter the room.
Report an incident to HR or your supervisor.
You are not a victim.
Being a victim of something does not create an entire identity around you.
Use common sense.
Use your intuition.
You are not powerless or helpless.
Stand in your power.
N.B. EXCLUDED from this conversation is rape, attempted rape or other violent sexual assault because it is a crime and even if it is under the umbrella of sexual harassment it is 5% of reported incidents and is vastly different than other forms of harassment. Most forms of sexual harassment are as a result of a system of patriarchy where someone instead of being a victim of a crime (rape, sexual assault, murder, etc.) is a victim of a system.
There I said them! And I do understand there are nuances and feelings and emotions and sometimes we are so dumbfounded and stunned by inappropriate behaviour, that it isn’t always easy. So here are some videos that can help us learn about boundaries –
Enforcing Healthy Boundaries – JP Sears
Most people know JP Sears as the fun and enlightened jokester on YouTube. What some people don’t know is that he started vlogging several years ago on very serious topics as an emotional healing coach answering questions to help people heal and live a fuller, unburdened and richer life. Even though he was serious, he found humour naturally as he shared his authentic self. This led to his creation of some very funny videos that went viral. Here is one of his more serious videos on boundaries –
When your boundaries are unhealthy, you either keep people too far away from you or allow them to get too close too often. Either way, unhealthy boundaries keep you in a stressful state of self-preservation vigilance, rather than allowing you to relax in a peaceful state of self-realization.” – JP Sears
You’re not entitled to my body – Anna Akana
Anna Akana is a comedian, actress and youtuber.
“No one is entitled to your body. NOT EVEN MEEEEE…I’ve witnessed a lot of entitlement on the part of both men and women – people who feel like they’re owed your body, attention, time. It’s incredibly annoying and violating.” – Anna Akana
Rules of Personal Space
Two humourists, Rhett and Link from Good Mythical Morning discuss the rules of personal space.
Good Mythical Morning S6 • E30 9
We have knowledge and intuition, let’s use them to inform us and help us in our relationships and discover new ways of being freeing ourselves from the shackles of the past and of other people’s expectations. Hope you enjoyed this selection of videos on boundaries and personal space. What do you think? leave a comment and start a discussion.